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defense force enthusiast

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This is a snapshot view of original blog at furuba.tumblr.com

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“I want to go see him.” Don’t say such things. Feel better. I’ll do whatever you want! Say anything else but that. Don’t go....

20 minutes ago

“I want to go see him.” Don’t say such things. Feel better. I’ll do whatever you want! Say anything else but that. Don’t go....

early on, we see two wishes from tohru in regards to yuki: for kyo and yuki to get along and understand one another, and for ayame and yuki to be able to meet halfway and mend their relationship. both of these wishes culminate in a scene near the end of ayame’s introductory episode, where yuki admits that ayame has some admirable traits; when he says “we can at least meet halfway,” tohru looks pointedly at kyo, as she wishes the same can be done between them, too.

both ayame and kyo hold sore memories for yuki, and it’s difficult for him to reach out to them because they both dealt him certain (and similar) pains. though ayame understands that he had hurt his brother and aided in his isolation (and seems to be aware of the abuse he underwent), yuki continues to push him away because that lack of trust formed so early and had gone unmended for so long. kyo was another person yuki had attempted to reach out to as a child, seeking a friend, but was harshly turned down and made an enemy of. 

with both, yuki struggles to reach out himself to find a middle ground, as he finds himself unable to talk to them (or anyone) about the pains they caused him as a child. as he holds onto these feelings and lets them turn into resentment for both, he ends up in a stalemate within himself: he can’t reach out to them, and so they are unable to reach out to him in return. (kyo, of course, doesn’t even try to, as he refuses to see and understand yuki’s perspective; it’s likely he never realized yuki had wanted to be his friend at all.)

yuki ends up facing the matter of “meeting in the middle” through someone who becomes, in his mind, an amalgamation of both ayame and kyo: kakeru.

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kakeru is a pain in his own right – he’s loud, obnoxious, self-serving, and downright confusing to yuki, and in those respects, he reminds him of his brother. however, yuki becomes distinctly aware of his feelings of inadequacy towards kakeru when he starts exhibiting similar traits to kyo – he’s able to mingle with others well, and others are naturally drawn to him. yuki feels as though he’s unnoticeable when he’s around kakeru; he projects his similar feelings of envy that he has towards kyo onto him. 

at the peak of these insecure feelings, they end up having a huge argument, to which yuki immediately apologizes and begins to shut himself off. he calls himself a problem child, blames himself for the argument, and admonishes himself for being his own enemy. what’s more, he expects the argument to end in a similar way as all of his arguments do – that it would taper off without much resolution, only serving as a baseline for when they would inevitably argue again. with ayame, their arguments resurface because they struggle to understand each other’s perspectives; with kyo, their arguments resurface because they refuse to understand each other’s perspectives. 

however, yuki finds difficulty in reaching out them, and trying to meet halfway, in part because he blames himself – for his temper, his “uglier” thoughts, his grip on the past. it’s here we see how easy he finds it to make an enemy of himself, and we’re able to see the core of his insecurities. 

which is why, when kakeru reaches out and asks yuki how he can better understand him, it catches him off-guard.

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it’s the first time someone has offered to understand his perspective, especially in such direct terms, as a means of apologizing. it’s the first time someone he’s argued with, and has deep tensions with, has successfully tried to meet him halfway. 

this isn’t to say that ayame hasn’t tried up until this point – but, he’s frustrated because he wants yuki to open up to him so badly it becomes forced, which pushes yuki back. ayame is largely unsuccessful in his efforts because, within those arguments, yuki is really the only one fighting; ayame struggles to know where the line is crossed, and thus struggles with being able to apologize. this isn’t entirely his fault, as yuki for a long time is on the defensive around him, and everything seems to tip him off (as, again, yuki can’t yet come to terms with his own pains, or yet speak of them). 

when it comes to kakeru – someone who had, in yuki’s mind, become a mix of two people he has strenuous and difficult relationships with, who had both left no small amount of scarring on his heart – admitting point blank to yuki that he had also gone too far in the argument, and asking him in no uncertain terms how to see things from his perspective, it’s a moment of revelation for yuki. it’s when kakeru really becomes just kakeru in yuki’s mind, rather than some amalgam of ayame and kyo; he’s no longer able to project the insecurities he feels with ayame and kyo onto him, as kakeru brings himself to yuki’s level. by doing so, he becomes not some higher person to fight against, but someone he can more easily reach out to and meet halfway himself. it also shows yuki that ayame and kyo may also be people he can eventually meet halfway, as he finds that the traits he finds envious and confusing in kakeru, the things he relates to ayame and kyo, are actually traits he can handle and even come to enjoy.

kakeru is important to yuki’s development in a myriad of ways, and one of them is allowing yuki to see that it is possible to meet halfway with someone you’re at odds with. by reaching out to yuki, he also allows him to stop putting the blame wholly on himself – which, in turn, lends to yuki’s gradual rise in self-confidence, as he eventually feels able to speak about his perspective without feeling silenced by shame. 

yuki eventually begins to mend his relationship with ayame, and much later with kyo, once he finally feels able to speak to them without feeling as though he’s fighting against them, or fighting against himself. but, he only gets to that point because kakeru first showed him that it’s possible to reach out to those he struggles to understand. kakeru showed yuki that soured relationships can be mended if there’s an openness to understanding, and it’s something that yuki learns from and attempts himself.

30 minutes ago

early on, we see two wishes from tohru in regards to yuki: for kyo and yuki to get along and understand one another, and for...

Video
no offense but this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

39 minutes ago

no offense but this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

Reblog with whatever tag first shows up when you type “I just want”.

1 hour ago

Reblog with whatever tag first shows up when you type "I just want".

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Eros and agape sketches.  Only 3 episodes in and these guys are all I’ve been drawing lately. Help.

1 hour ago

Eros and agape sketches. Only 3 episodes in and these guys are all I’ve been drawing lately. Help.

1 day ago

Haikyuu is going to end in the next issue.. :(

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hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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1 day ago

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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Edward Commits Crimes.

1 day ago

Edward Commits Crimes.

astrology isnt real but every positive thing written about my sign is true 

1 day ago

astrology isnt real but every positive thing written about my sign is true 

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塗りの習作的な  年賀状すべて届きました…!(;_;)はぁああ感動で手が震えました… ...

2 days ago

塗りの習作的な 年賀状すべて届きました…!(;_;)はぁああ感動で手が震えました… ...

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Avatar: The Last Airbender by Flesh.png
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2 days ago

Avatar: The Last Airbender by Flesh.png

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obitos no one asked for   

2 days ago

obitos no one asked for   

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miyamiyamiyamiyamiyamiya
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2 days ago

miyamiyamiyamiyamiyamiya

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犬夜叉【半妖の夜叉姫】  秋2020..

2 days ago

犬夜叉【半妖の夜叉姫】 秋2020..

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“Wanna head home?”
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3 days ago

“Wanna head home?”

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Don’t forget to have proper meals everyone nom nom

4 days ago

Don’t forget to have proper meals everyone nom nom

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faces pass and please just let me be home bound~ 
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4 days ago

faces pass and please just let me be home bound~ 

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love this asshole

4 days ago

love this asshole

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waddup gamers, it‘s ya boy.

4 days ago

waddup gamers, it‘s ya boy.

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🐈🔮    Twitter | Instagram | Prints
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4 days ago

🐈🔮 Twitter | Instagram | Prints

Akito sohma YouTube apology video

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4 days ago

Akito sohma YouTube apology video

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LaLa 2020年5月ふろく  Illustrations from May Issue of LaLa 2020  Wow, it has been years since I last posted. I kinda took a break...
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5 days ago

LaLa 2020年5月ふろく Illustrations from May Issue of LaLa 2020  Wow, it has been years since I last posted. I kinda took a break...

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My Whisper of the Heart drawing for @ghiblizine! Reorders are open, all profits go to the Rainforest Action Network and The...

5 days ago

My Whisper of the Heart drawing for @ghiblizine! Reorders are open, all profits go to the Rainforest Action Network and The...

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Baby Appa is here to heal your soul
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6 days ago

Baby Appa is here to heal your soul