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The Iron Bender

Thirty-something white trans woman with a serious love of The Legend of Korra and a passion for argument. My pronouns are she/her/hers. I am explicitly pro-social justice and I work to fight anti-blackness and transphobia. Porn and bot blogs will be blocked.
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This is a snapshot view of original blog at korrasera.tumblr.com

Toplist Points 1078844 == Toplist Rank [unknown-WIP]

Being working class is like this:

image

ummmmmm(: maybe if you spent a little bit less money on frivolous luxuries like entertainment (: you wouldn’t be a stupid broke bitch who deserves to be poor(: just some friendly advice(:

“All it takes to be successful is hard work! You gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps and stop being lazy!” -Millionaire politician who is the son of another millionaire

This is an oversimplification and a bad graphic.

That’s literally my expenses. I took a screenshot of what the app I use to track my spending is telling me.

It’s my actual lived experience holy shit.

@cutecajunlizard’s take was so hot, they incinerated themselves

I’m gonna have to comment on this tho…

This really doesn’t say anything. Like, that’s their expenditures over the last week, what about income? What about the prior weeks?

It’s still an oversimplification and a bad graphic, because it’s such a fragmental snapshot of OP’s life. It could literally have been ‘The week started yesterday and I just paid rent’.

‘This is my life’ doesn’t actually address anything.

Also if your paying 900 a week for mortgage or rent then either you need to renegotiate your mortgage or your getting scammed.

Yeah this is bullshit. The fact that they didn’t do monthy or yearly shows this is bullshit. Plus they don’t provide income

Let me guess another mc donalds cashier calling themselves working class

It’s literally an illustration of much I have to cut back on the week rent is due, jesusfuck, people. I won’t tell you my income, but I can tell you I’m a single person who makes over $17/hr at a full time 40 hour a week job. And I still have to cut back that much the week rent is due.

Also, a McDonald’s cashier would be working class?? The fuck do you think working class is you fucking moron.

Jesus Christ people

I just want to take a moment to illustrate the problems with the things that @cookingwithroxy, @switch-up-snowfox, and @shatteredangel123 said above, because everything they said is either irrelevant, a distraction, or just plain wrong.

What it comes down to is this:

Being working class means putting 50% or more of your paycheck into rent. Usually much more. Having so little left over that you have to carefully budget for food, medicine, and any other critical expenses that come up. It means having spare cash once in a long while, but never being able to save money because most of your money goes to making someone else wealthier.

I’m honestly not sure what any of the three commenters above were thinking when they added those comments, but it makes me think that none of them know what it’s actually like to live as poor, working class people. Just the fact that someone would say ‘900 a week for mortgage or rent means you’re getting scammed’ or ‘McDonald’s cashiers aren’t working class’ demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of how the world works. It’s a bit shockingly ignorant, honestly.

I live in the Pacific Northwest. One bedroom apartments around go for, on average, around $2000 a month in rent. And that’s within a 10 mile radius of Seattle. The prices drop only slightly if you move into the outlying regions like Everett, Lynnwood, or Tacoma. Oh, and living in those places but working in Seattle means commuting 90 minutes to work every day. One way. In some of the worst traffic in the country.

Also, McDonald’s cashiers make minimum wage, which is $7.25 per hour at the federal level. That’s about $15,000 per year or $1,160 a month. But around here we have a $12 minimum wage, which boosts that up to $25,000 per year and about $1920 monthly.

I’ll let you compare that to our average one bedroom apartment prices and you can then determine whether or not someone who can’t pay 1 month worth of rent with 1 month of work, without any other expenses involved, qualifies as working class. 

Just as an FYI, rent is really only manageable when it takes up 1/3rd or less of your monthly income. Past that you’re basically guaranteed to run into serious cash flow problems eventually.

The Point

In the end, take this as a lesson that you should always stop and consider what assumptions you’re making before you speak. Because if you’re like those three bumpkins we just looked at above? Those assumptions keep you from recognizing exactly how ignorant you are of these kinds of topics.

OP stated one simple thing, that in one week their paycheck (and this is the point relevant to the statement) is down to mainly paying their rent, and having very little for anything else. And while this is pretty bad for them, for that week. it doesn’t tell us what their budget is for the REST OF THAT MONTH.

If they are able to pay rent with one out of four paychecks? Then it’s only ¼th of their income. Which disproves your statements already. If it’s half of their income, it would help to know that this is out of a bi-weekly paycheck. But WE DON’T KNOW ANYTHING.

Because we have one week’s budget, which is TOO LITTLE INFORMATION.

In order to have a better idea of what they’re doing we need OTHER WEEKS. Yes, they’re broke on the last week of their month, but to know why we need to know other expenses. How much do they actually make a month? How much do they spend on other weeks? WE DO NOT KNOW.

And you’re basing your entire reaction on your own personal budget, which DOES NOT HELP.

And in the end, what I find hilarious, is that you said ‘you should always stop and consider what assumptions you’re making before you speak.‘

I stated that we couldn’t assume anything off of the data provided, because it wasn’t enough. And yet you presumed I was saying something else, which, and I’m quoting here… ‘Those assumptions keep you from recognizing exactly how ignorant you are of these kinds of topics. ‘

And here’s @cookingwithroxy to reinforce those same assumptions they made previously. I’ll elaborate.

The OP is demonstrating a pattern that’s really common among working-class people, particularly in the US, describing how much of their income goes into rent compared to being able to afford anything else. And it’s a pattern that’s so recognizable that I don’t know anyone in my life that wouldn’t recognize it. Many of us have been there already.

However, even though on it’s own the OP’s statements are enough to get their point across, you’ve got people like @cookingwithroxy and the other people I mentioned who need to argue with it. And you can see that in the way they’ve had to invent things to drag into the conversation.

The OP’s graphic mentions ‘last week’? Well, then obviously this must only be a week’s worth of wages. You’ve got the OP claiming that they’re poor? Well then surely they need to submit all of their books to tumblr so we can properly judge who’s poor and who’s not.

And all the while, I can’t discern what kind of agenda or ultimate goal they’re aiming for. I mean, is it somehow offensive for working-class people to talk about how difficult it can be to budget? Listening to these folks, you’d think that.

So, again, what I said previously. It’s always a good idea to ask what assumptions you’re making because they’ll often keep you from seeing the things you’re ignorant on.

20 hours ago

Being working class is like this:

Being working class is like this:

image

ummmmmm(: maybe if you spent a little bit less money on frivolous luxuries like entertainment (: you wouldn’t be a stupid broke bitch who deserves to be poor(: just some friendly advice(:

“All it takes to be successful is hard work! You gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps and stop being lazy!” -Millionaire politician who is the son of another millionaire

This is an oversimplification and a bad graphic.

That’s literally my expenses. I took a screenshot of what the app I use to track my spending is telling me.

It’s my actual lived experience holy shit.

@cutecajunlizard’s take was so hot, they incinerated themselves

I’m gonna have to comment on this tho…

This really doesn’t say anything. Like, that’s their expenditures over the last week, what about income? What about the prior weeks?

It’s still an oversimplification and a bad graphic, because it’s such a fragmental snapshot of OP’s life. It could literally have been ‘The week started yesterday and I just paid rent’.

‘This is my life’ doesn’t actually address anything.

Also if your paying 900 a week for mortgage or rent then either you need to renegotiate your mortgage or your getting scammed.

Yeah this is bullshit. The fact that they didn’t do monthy or yearly shows this is bullshit. Plus they don’t provide income

Let me guess another mc donalds cashier calling themselves working class

It’s literally an illustration of much I have to cut back on the week rent is due, jesusfuck, people. I won’t tell you my income, but I can tell you I’m a single person who makes over $17/hr at a full time 40 hour a week job. And I still have to cut back that much the week rent is due.

Also, a McDonald’s cashier would be working class?? The fuck do you think working class is you fucking moron.

Jesus Christ people

I just want to take a moment to illustrate the problems with the things that @cookingwithroxy, @switch-up-snowfox, and @shatteredangel123 said above, because everything they said is either irrelevant, a distraction, or just plain wrong.

What it comes down to is this:

Being working class means putting 50% or more of your paycheck into rent. Usually much more. Having so little left over that you have to carefully budget for food, medicine, and any other critical expenses that come up. It means having spare cash once in a long while, but never being able to save money because most of your money goes to making someone else wealthier.

I’m honestly not sure what any of the three commenters above were thinking when they added those comments, but it makes me think that none of them know what it’s actually like to live as poor, working class people. Just the fact that someone would say ‘900 a week for mortgage or rent means you’re getting scammed’ or ‘McDonald’s cashiers aren’t working class’ demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of how the world works. It’s a bit shockingly ignorant, honestly.

I live in the Pacific Northwest. One bedroom apartments around go for, on average, around $2000 a month in rent. And that’s within a 10 mile radius of Seattle. The prices drop only slightly if you move into the outlying regions like Everett, Lynnwood, or Tacoma. Oh, and living in those places but working in Seattle means commuting 90 minutes to work every day. One way. In some of the worst traffic in the country.

Also, McDonald’s cashiers make minimum wage, which is $7.25 per hour at the federal level. That’s about $15,000 per year or $1,160 a month. But around here we have a $12 minimum wage, which boosts that up to $25,000 per year and about $1920 monthly.

I’ll let you compare that to our average one bedroom apartment prices and you can then determine whether or not someone who can’t pay 1 month worth of rent with 1 month of work, without any other expenses involved, qualifies as working class. 

Just as an FYI, rent is really only manageable when it takes up 1/3rd or less of your monthly income. Past that you’re basically guaranteed to run into serious cash flow problems eventually.

The Point

In the end, take this as a lesson that you should always stop and consider what assumptions you’re making before you speak. Because if you’re like those three bumpkins we just looked at above? Those assumptions keep you from recognizing exactly how ignorant you are of these kinds of topics.

“Working-class” means you work for wages and don’t have ownership of the means of production. It’s not about income at all. 

Yes, that’s accurate. I wasn’t defining working-class, I was providing an example of what it means to be working-class. Because working-class usually means being quite poor because the fruits of your labors are being taken by other people to make them money.

20 hours ago

Being working class is like this:

For when you hear terfs, truscum, or other gross conservatives talking about "autogynephilia"

"Autogynephilia," if you haven't heard of it, is a thoroughly discredited theory from 30 years ago.

This guy named Ray Blanchard basically said that trans women all fell into one of two groups: either they were exclusively attracted to men, and therefore wanted to transition because they didn't want to be gay; or they were (also or instead) attracted to women, and therefore wanted to transition because they were turned on by the idea of having boobs and stuff.

(I doubt the dude ever heard of aces. Also: yikes.)

My favorite critique of this theory is basically, "oh, so cis women are allowed to think they're hot, but trans women aren't?" (I think I'm paraphrasing Kate Bornstein there?)

Bi trans author Julia Serano just posted a detailed explanation of how very, very thoroughly scientifically discredited this idea has been, for pretty much those entire thirty years. Even Blanchard's own studies didn't support it.

I just wanted to share my favorite part so far:

"Perhaps no evidence undermines autogynephilia theory more than recent studies that have shown that [sexual fantasies centered on being female and/or feminine] are quite common in cisgender women, and that cross-sex/gender embodiment fantasies also occur among the greater cisgender population.

"For instance, Veale et al. (2008) — the first autogynephilia-related study to use a control group (which Blanchard never bothered to do) — found that 52% of their cisgender female subjects experienced [these fantasies] at levels comparable to trans women that Blanchard classified as 'autogynephiles' (see also Moser, 2010).

"In a separate study of cisgender women, Moser (2009a) found that 93% of his subjects experienced [these fantasies] to some extent, with 28% experiencing them at high levels."

https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Flink.medium.com%2FcQDLJUvxV0&t=OTQ1NzI2MDI3MWRlMDE2ZDBmMjFjZjNlNTQyOTQzNjBlYzFmMThjMiwxNGMxNzEwZjgzMzhlYTY2YWM0YmM0YmE4MjMwODIxZmRlYWE3YTU0 t.umblr.com

Serano goes on to explore the different reasons that people buy into this crap. Most of them, imho, are variations on "ignorance about trans experiences." (Not saying the nuances aren't worth exploring, just trying to condense it for this particular post.)

But one of those ignorant reasons is, "A belief that atypical and non-reproductive expressions of sexuality are inherently pathological."

Gosh, does that ever sound like the exclusionists who insist that aces are ace because of trauma, or internalized homophobia, and therefore, not really ace at all. Or that most people who think they're ace really just have a mental illness or a hormone imbalance.

And, of course, the truscum who need being trans to be a disorder, and only ever a disorder.

And, of course, the TERFs who pity and/or loathe trans women, non-binary people, and, frequently, trans men, for being "sick."

And who both - terfs, and truscum - seem to overwhelmingly be ace exclusionists. (I've looked through hundreds and hundreds of TERF blogs without finding one inclusionist. There are probably a few truscum inclusionists, but it seems to be very uncommon over there too.)

And another one is, "A 'gut feeling' that there really are 'two types' of trans women."

Regardless of what the two types are called, she observes, they tend to be:

1. "deceivers" - who pass, and in an outsider's view, transition for nefarious reasons like Infiltrating Communities and Dating People, and

2. "pretenders" - who don't conform to the speaker's idea of A Real Trans Woman, and transition for nefarious reasons like Getting Off and Being So Oppressed.

Gosh, does that ever sound like the truscum who group all trans people into Real People Who Want To Pass, and People Who Are Faking Because They Think Being Trans Is Cute/Trendy.

And the terfs, who buy into both the pretender and deceiver ideas, often projecting both of them on everybody at once.

And all exclusionists, including those who aren't terfs or truscum. Who have unconsciously revamped this into "Real LGBT Aces," (who they frequently hate for being ace, but who "pass" as Valid LGBT People), and the "CisHets" who they never actually seem to meet, but who definitely are trying to invade their community en masse to Steal Resources and Be So Oppressed.

OMFG, I just saw that reason #8 on her list is literally just "Transmedicalists" 😂

Gonna quote it here in its entirety:

"Whenever a minority group is marginalized, and maligned as 'unnatural' or 'illegitimate,' some members of the group will inevitably emphasize their proximity to, and similarities with, the dominant majority in an effort to gain respectability. And in the process of asserting their own 'realness' and legitimacy, they will often throw the rest of the minority group under the proverbial bus."

Like I was just saying.

"Within trans communities, such individuals have gone by many names over the years; HBSers, truscum, and transmedicalists are a few of the more recent ones."

(HBSers are Harry Benjamin Syndrome Sufferers. There's also the term True Transsexuals; I'm sticking two links in here for the curious.)

Charlotte Goiar (1972 - ) HBS activist. Revised 4 Nov 2009, 2 Dec 2009, 13 March 2012, 7 September 2013, 2 April 2018. See also  A short History of (Harry) Benjamin Syndrome   zagria.blogspot.com True Transsexuals (Part III!) - Transgender Forum Spread the loveI only started blogging about the theory of True Transsexuals because it happened to someone very close to me.  She started Transgender Forum

"One thing these groups have in common is that they often cite old-guard sexology theories — especially those steeped in sexual inversion (see rationale #5) — in order to argue that they are 'real' trans women and men, while all other trans people are merely 'perverts' or 'pretenders.'

"Those who stoop to such tactics will often cite Blanchard’s theory in an effort to smear trans women they dislike or discount as 'autogynephiles.' In other words, transmedicalists wield the term in a manner similar to . . .

"10. Transphobes looking for justification for their beliefs."

1 day ago

For when you hear terfs, truscum, or other gross conservatives talking about "autogynephilia"

Being working class is like this:

image

ummmmmm(: maybe if you spent a little bit less money on frivolous luxuries like entertainment (: you wouldn’t be a stupid broke bitch who deserves to be poor(: just some friendly advice(:

“All it takes to be successful is hard work! You gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps and stop being lazy!” -Millionaire politician who is the son of another millionaire

This is an oversimplification and a bad graphic.

That’s literally my expenses. I took a screenshot of what the app I use to track my spending is telling me.

It’s my actual lived experience holy shit.

@cutecajunlizard’s take was so hot, they incinerated themselves

I’m gonna have to comment on this tho…

This really doesn’t say anything. Like, that’s their expenditures over the last week, what about income? What about the prior weeks?

It’s still an oversimplification and a bad graphic, because it’s such a fragmental snapshot of OP’s life. It could literally have been ‘The week started yesterday and I just paid rent’.

‘This is my life’ doesn’t actually address anything.

Also if your paying 900 a week for mortgage or rent then either you need to renegotiate your mortgage or your getting scammed.

Yeah this is bullshit. The fact that they didn’t do monthy or yearly shows this is bullshit. Plus they don’t provide income

Let me guess another mc donalds cashier calling themselves working class

It’s literally an illustration of much I have to cut back on the week rent is due, jesusfuck, people. I won’t tell you my income, but I can tell you I’m a single person who makes over $17/hr at a full time 40 hour a week job. And I still have to cut back that much the week rent is due.

Also, a McDonald’s cashier would be working class?? The fuck do you think working class is you fucking moron.

Jesus Christ people

I just want to take a moment to illustrate the problems with the things that @cookingwithroxy, @switch-up-snowfox, and @shatteredangel123 said above, because everything they said is either irrelevant, a distraction, or just plain wrong.

What it comes down to is this:

Being working class means putting 50% or more of your paycheck into rent. Usually much more. Having so little left over that you have to carefully budget for food, medicine, and any other critical expenses that come up. It means having spare cash once in a long while, but never being able to save money because most of your money goes to making someone else wealthier.

I’m honestly not sure what any of the three commenters above were thinking when they added those comments, but it makes me think that none of them know what it’s actually like to live as poor, working class people. Just the fact that someone would say ‘900 a week for mortgage or rent means you’re getting scammed’ or 'McDonald’s cashiers aren’t working class’ demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of how the world works. It’s a bit shockingly ignorant, honestly.

I live in the Pacific Northwest. One bedroom apartments around go for, on average, around $2000 a month in rent. And that’s within a 10 mile radius of Seattle. The prices drop only slightly if you move into the outlying regions like Everett, Lynnwood, or Tacoma. Oh, and living in those places but working in Seattle means commuting 90 minutes to work every day. One way. In some of the worst traffic in the country.

Also, McDonald’s cashiers make minimum wage, which is $7.25 per hour at the federal level. That’s about $15,000 per year or $1,160 a month. But around here we have a $12 minimum wage, which boosts that up to $25,000 per year and about $1920 monthly.

I’ll let you compare that to our average one bedroom apartment prices and you can then determine whether or not someone who can’t pay 1 month worth of rent with 1 month of work, without any other expenses involved, qualifies as working class. 

Just as an FYI, rent is really only manageable when it takes up 1/3rd or less of your monthly income. Past that you’re basically guaranteed to run into serious cash flow problems eventually.

The Point

In the end, take this as a lesson that you should always stop and consider what assumptions you’re making before you speak. Because if you’re like those three bumpkins we just looked at above? Those assumptions keep you from recognizing exactly how ignorant you are of these kinds of topics.

1 day ago

Being working class is like this:

“We should start bullying [communities that are WELL KNOWN to be full of minorities]” 

Why not just fan out the smoke and break all the mirrors and be a bigot on main, why be a coward? Just be do it! Go hang out with your bigoted friends and spout your vile sermon without the mask. 

Not that bullying is ever okay, no matter what, but let’s go through the things I see daily that we need to start “bullying”:

Shippers: I know ONE straight, cis, white, abled, neurotypical shipper. ONE. If I went into my reylo discord server of 48 there is ONE. O N E. Every other shipper is either POC, mentally ill, disabled, trans, or queer. Oh, and the straight, cis, white, abled, NT shipper? Never got bullied. The black or jewish or queer or trans or autistic shippers? Literally got bullied constantly. Sent slurs. Sent porn

Fujoshi: Again? I’ve never met a straight, white fujoshi (m/m fan). Most are poor queer women–or queer japanese women. 

Theater Kids: Every person who was in my high school “theater kid” troop is queer, at least that I know of and who I still keep in touch with. 

General Stinky Weirdos in School that this site seems to hate for no goddamn reason: Not to out myself as the weird stinky kid in school? But the main reason they’re weird and stinky is either: poverty, abuse, mental illness, or disability. Very rarely are those stinky weird kids are abled, NT, kids. 

Why don’t you think suuuper hard and suuuper seriously about why you want to bully people and why you want to bully these specific people

I know I made this post about minorities, because, lbr, minorities are almost always the victims somehow, but I would like to remind everyone of this: 

Bullying is never okay, no matter what

2 days ago

“We should start bullying [communities that are WELL KNOWN to be full of minorities]”  Why not just fan out the smoke and...

2 days ago

hey, i don’t know what context you use the word “antis” in but it concerns me sincerely that you talk about not liking them and...

there is absolutely nothing - no personality disorder or mental illness or disability or fucking anything - that excuses being an abuser.

there are reasons but there are no excuses.

It’s frustrating to me, that this is the top post I’ve made on this blog, especially since, as of right now, it has 2795 notes and the second runner-up has 284. Wanna know the best part? The second place post isn’t even about ASPD.

I’m glad this post is a message that resonates with people - because it’s true! Mentall ilness doesn’t make abuse okay. Nothing makes abuse okay. I hold no issue with what this post says, but I do hold issue with what it being the most reblogged post I’ve ever made says. This is one of the only posts that could be used to vilify ASPD (if you’re wondering how, scroll through the notes) out of twelve hundred seventy nine posts. That says something. 

My blog, realistically, has a very, very small impact, but that impact is still something, so I do my best to make sure my impact is always a positive one. There are certain aspects of my impact I can’t control, though. I can’t decide which posts get more notes than others. I can put extra work into posts and try to make them wide reaching, and I can hope and ask friends to reblog the posts most important to me, and that’s about it.

On average, a post on my blog gets 11.03 notes. If we don’t count this post, as an obvious outlier, the average is 8.4 notes. 

I know this is a long-winded post about how many notes my posts get, but I’m trying to make a simple point - to the people reading this, especially anyone who doesn’t have ASPD, next time you see a post about how us twisted cycle-paths aren’t horrible, awful people and how we deserve basic human respect, don’t think “I’m sure the next person who sees this will reblog it. I don’t have to.” I can pretty confidently tell you they won’t.

2 days ago

there is absolutely nothing - no personality disorder or mental illness or disability or fucking anything - that excuses being...

Pictures 1
This is a nice tweet.

3 days ago

This is a nice tweet.

Antis are making minors feel sorry for having any kind of sexual desire and it makes me so sad.

Like, with puberty comes sexuality as well?

Antis are making minors feel guilty about having crushes, wanting to date people, finding someone their age cute, etc. Antis are making it so that young people think that wanting to have a relationship=them being pedophiles or being ok with fucked up shit bc antis have skewed the definitions of words so much that now we have young teens who think that dating someone w/ a 1-2 year age gap is abusive and pedophilic.

Antis can fuck right off with the idea that they’re helping minors or protecting minorities or whatever the fuck they claim, bc not only does this hurt kids and make it harder for them to explore their sexualities, but it also hurts queer kids, trans kids, POC kids, neurodivergent kids. It hurts so many minors and frankly it disgusts me that we’ve gotten to this point.

Antis telling queer kids that being attracted to NB people, trans people, and people of the same gender is ‘fetishization’ and bad is going to do a lot of damage to these kids. The idea that if you’re attracted to someone you’re a filthy sex-obssessed monster who views them as a fetish object is rampant in the anti community, and it infects people who are in the movement until they’re actively hating themselves just for having a crush on someone. You’re bad for liking that NB person, and that trans person, and that gay person, and, and, and. There’s never a limit on how gender can be turned into an Off Limits sign.

Antis’ also promote a hostility to interracial dating that I, as a mixed man, find exhausting. You know that friend of mine who was an anti that I was utterly smitten with? I’ve referenced her in other posts? She was into me, too. We had this discussion. But I’m mixed so dating me is fetishization of mixed people. Complimenting me on my eyes was fetishizing my white traits. Liking my middle name was exoticising me. Everything about interacting with someone of another race was somehow the same as thinking of them as an object to fuck, and she couldn’t find a way to be woke enough to be alright with being attracted to me, her nerdy friend. As if that’s somehow right up there with murder in terms of depravity.

But this extends to media, and keeping up with it was grating. You’re attracted to that anime character? Then you’re a filthy, dirty pervert who doesn’t view Asian people as people. You like that dude in that band? Then you’re contributing to the culture of valuing black entertainers as commodities and don’t view black men as people, you filthy fetishizer. You had a crush on Aladdin as a kid? That’s anti-Arab, somehow, you fetish-fueled nasty. You can only be attracted to your own race or else you’re an awful, irredeemable human being devoid of a soul who is driven solely by sex.

And this wokeness, I can’t help but notice, leaves kids feeling like garbage while also leaving them with virtually no dating options, rendering them isolated in many ways.

Isolation is a cult tactic.

Isolation is a cult tactic.

Antis are really really good at isolating disabled people also. If you are disabled and your spouse is not? They claim it’s problematic and your spouse is there for fetishishes.

With my other blog which was lost in the tumblr purges there was a big deal with antis saying writing disabled characters was being a fetishizer and that able bodied people could not ever find disabled people attractive without it being a fetish.

Antis don’t see the people they are trying to ‘protect’ as human if you want to get into the dirt of the matter. They don’t see us as human and we are just an idea and that is why they speak over us and take away our community and our support system. Because they are the ones fetishizing us. They have white savior syndrome in a big way.

Pretty much

The movement is very American as well, and from what I read, it’s pretty puritanistic?

It definitely has it’s roots in american christian conservatism. I’ve pointed it out before but antis aruguments are nearly identical to the Christian watchdog group, Warriors for Innocence. And I’m not entirely convinced it’s by accident. Fandom has always been dogged by puritanical groups, the aforementioned Warriors for Innocence, Focus on the Family, or Fight the New Drug (an anti-porn group funded by Mormons), convinced that we’re all evil satanists turning their precious “good Christian boys and girls into dirty, sinful homosexuals” with the power of cartoon porn.

Seriously, take a wander though Fight the New Drug’s website and you’ll find all kinds of articles that wouldn’t be out of place as some anti’s new hot take, for example, their article on hentai.

Now, you might notice something about Fight the New Drug. Unlike Warriors for Innocence, it doesn’t look or sound like religious propaganda. And that’s the point. That post for WfI looks ridiculous with it’s fire and brimstone, nobody would take that seriously. But FTND on the other hand…

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They know if they come at you with hellfire and God’s wrath you’re gonna run the other way. But dress up as science and facts. Well, now they’ve got your attention. If you didn’t know they were entirely run and funded by extreme Mormons, and their “studies” were also run and funded by extreme Mormons you might have taken them seriously.

And they’re doing the same thing here. They’re not stupid, if they tell people that they shouldn’t be shipping x ship because it’s sinful and they’re going to go to hell nobody’s gonna listen. But if you dress it up in liberal language, you can smuggle in your rhetoric disguised as social justice.

Many LGBTQ+ in fandom got their first exposure to such things through BL (yaoi), and slash media. So if you’re a conservative Christian who doesn’t want any good Christian boys and girls to be exposed to LGBTQ+ media (and possible realize they aren’t as straight or cis as they thought) you’d say something like “If you’re not a gay man, don’t look at yaoi or you’re a fetishizer.”

If you’re a conservative who doesn’t want kids to have, learn or even think about sex then just convince them that everything is either fetishization or pedophilia. You can’t look at porn it’s harmful and inherently coercive. All kink is abusive and any fiction involving it normalizes it. Sex education is grooming. You can’t date anyone that’s older, younger, shorter, taller, a different gender or race than you, otherwise it’s pedophilia, abusive, or fetishization. Anyone who says otherwise is a pedophile, abuser, or an apologist and you should never ever listen to them. In fact, everyone who isn’t also an anti is probably a pedophile, abuser and an apologist too. Best to block everyone and only stay here, where it’s safe and no one will tell you different.

Anyway tldr; puritanical Christian groups are smuggling in their rhetoric deguised as social justice and antis are eating it up

Aha

That is… Very different than in the Netherlands :/

Please read this for even more context on why antis are terrible and usually tend to endanger children when they claim to be trying to protect them.

I’ve answered more than one private ask from a teenager who wanted to know - in all seriousness - if they would become a pedophile by continuing to date their 16 or 17yo SO once they turned 18.

So to review: this 17yo feared being labeled a pedophile for continuing to date someone born within a year of them because … they turned 18.

And they’re specifically afraid of this bc of anti discourse.

That’s really my only comment on this whole mess. That’s where we are.

Don’t forget that antis as a movement are also hella fucking racist too, since they’ve adopted, as a community, arguments that attack queer Japanese women and anyone else that’s been a part of the fujoshi community.

3 days ago

Antis are making minors feel sorry for having any kind of sexual desire and it makes me so sad. Like, with puberty comes...

imagine being the poor kid john carpenter based michael myers on.

imagine just being a 12 y/o hospitalized kid, probably full of antipsychotics and ritalin. an apathetic mess who’s just looking forward to the next lunch break and then a future fucking hollywood director then psych student takes a look around the psych ward, sees you minding your own damn business in a corner, and goes “wow. that is pure evil. i’m gonna make a multimillion dollar franchise off of that.”

“ Carpenter’s inspiration for the “evil” that Michael would embody came when he was in college. While on a class trip at a mental institution in Kentucky, Carpenter visited “the most serious, mentally ill patients”. Among those patients was a young boy around twelve to thirteen years-old. The boy gave this “schizophrenic stare”, “a real evil stare”, which Carpenter found “unsettling”, “creepy”, and “completely insane”. “

psych majors are sth else man

#MikeDeservedBetter

It’s also worth noting that Carpenter, when writing Michael Myers, also took care to not make him a real example of a human being or mental illness, to the point where the film makes that an explicit plot point. It out and out tells you that Myers is not a mentally ill person and the only reason they had him locked up in a mental institution is because they didn’t know what to do with him. He’s so infamously not a person that the character is just known as ‘the shape’ in the script of the first two films.

This also falls in line with how much of Carpenter’s fiction is about confronting literal manifestations of evil, rather than any kind of inhumanity or brutality that arises from humanity itself. The Thing, Prince of Darkness, and Halloween are all stories (among others from Carpenter’s filmography) about things that aren’t actually human and how horror arises when we are confronted with how insignificant we are in the face of that. Because, unsurprisingly, Carpenter is a fan of cosmic horror and the way that it entertains by telling us how small and insignificant humanity actually is.

Sure, it’s kinda creepy to know that the seed for Michael Myers was John Carpenter being unsettled by the gaze of a mentally ill child, but no, Michael Myers didn’t deserve better.

3 days ago

imagine being the poor kid john carpenter based michael myers on. imagine just being a 12 y/o hospitalized kid, probably full...

4 days ago

"talking weird" - exactly! i had a class at uni with a friend. someone held a presentation, and later she told me she never...

4 days ago

I do wonder if these people who are like "anyone over [arbitrary age] isn't allowed to enjoy fandom" realise that most creators...

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Calling the police should be the last alternative.
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4 days ago

Calling the police should be the last alternative.

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who is this graceful medieval noblewoman

5 days ago

who is this graceful medieval noblewoman

child-17 years old: *is allowed to base their entire personality on the concept of fandom/shipping*

18-19: *grace period where you should start thinking things over*

20+: I sentence you to cringe

fandom moms do not interact

On the one hand anyone who calls themself a "fandom parent" as a self-assigned title is probably best avoided because that's a big red flag

But also consider that autistic adults exist in the world and special interests are a huge facet of being neurodivergent and if you're being a dick to someone for being "too into" something when theyre not actually hurting anyone you're no different than people who make "reeeeeee" jokes on Reddit

Okay I'm getting @'ed a lot so I'm gonna clarify something

I'm not excusing anyone acting like a shit. I'm not saying autistic people get a pass if they're being assholes in fandom spaces, they obviously don't. I'm not saying autistic adults should be treated like children.

I AM saying that the acceptable amount of yourself to dedicate to a singular interest is entirely subjective, and how much somebody else wants to be involved in [insert thing here] is not a reason to be a dick to anyone. Ultimately, if somebody out there wants to be, from your personal perspective, too immersed in any interest or piece of media, it's not really your problem? Or your business? This is excluding if they're doing things that are actually hurting other people, of course. But like, liking something too much doesn't hurt anybody. And yeah it can seem super weird but at the end of the day who gives a shit

Some people have different brains than you. If Jane doe from Indiana is 45 and wants to wear hello Kitty on her clothes every day, there's literally no reason for me to care. No part of that has any impact on my life at all. Not something I would do, something I would even see as strange but like. I'm not gonna point my finger and shout "cringe" because of it. Jane doe from Indiana, 45, isn't injuring anyone by liking hello Kitty "too much."

TLDR: I don't know why this is such a hot take but like don't be an asshole to people because they are different from you?

"Actually, bullying is good when I do it," will forever remain a cold take. That's the problem with saying you shouldn't make fun of someone unless what they're doing is harmful because people will bend over backwards trying find any justification for harassing others. It's even worse when people delude themselves into thinking they actually care about they people they're making fun of. Literally none of you are losing sleep over the mental health of an adult who's "too invested" in fiction you just think it's cringy.

It's even worse when people delude themselves into thinking they actually care about the people they're making fun of.

Isn’t it amazing how cis straight neurotypical grown-ass men can obsess over sports, put team logos all over their car, wear team jerseys, hang out with their buddies watching games instead of spending time with their families or doing household chores and literally erupt in violence over the results of a game and the majority  of society considers this behavior to be not only not creepy,weird or abnormal but actively desirable?

Gee, I wonder why there’s such a double standard...

Let’s pour out a collective YIKE for OP 

5 days ago

child-17 years old: *is allowed to base their entire personality on the concept of fandom/shipping* 18-19: *grace period where...

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The Good Place (2016-2020)
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5 days ago

The Good Place (2016-2020)

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A very beautiful image of these smiley blackfoot. It seemed everything was alright…  Photograph by Mary T. S. Schaffer in 1907.

5 days ago

A very beautiful image of these smiley blackfoot. It seemed everything was alright… Photograph by Mary T. S. Schaffer in 1907.

Pictures 1
On this day, 15 October 1940, Charlie Chaplin’s first “talkie” (film with spoken dialogue) The Great Dictator debuted in New...

5 days ago

On this day, 15 October 1940, Charlie Chaplin’s first “talkie” (film with spoken dialogue) The Great Dictator debuted in New...

…and you feel driven to do more…

…educate yourself.

Learn more about what’s going on in the world. Learn why so many people are anti-authoritarian, anti-capitalism, and anti-racist. Because the more we all learn about these things, the better we can see what’s going on, the better armed we are to end these systems of oppression.

I often struggle with my sense of self worth because I want to contribute to the health and well-being of my community, my friends, and my family. And I’m usually totally unsure of how to do that.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in terms of my study of politics and society, of psychology and sociology, it’s that our best weapon is the mind and you can sharpen that with knowledge in the same way you’d sharpen a blade with a stone.

There are times when you don’t have any bandwidth to spare and that’s okay. I might binge political content but that’s just how I work and I burn out just as often as the next raging queer leftist anti-racist anti-authoritarian trans girl. So I can’t be on all the time. But when I am On and I am Able, I learn. Compulsively.

(It also helps to hyperfixate on justice and anti-authoritarianism, but that’s just how the dice rolled for me)

And you can learn too. It’s hard to study this kind of thing because it means coming face to face with how terrible humans can be, but I promise you that you matter and the better informed and sharper you is something that is good for all of us.

5 days ago

If You Can’t Do Anything Else...

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October 2019 - Ecuador’s government has fled the capital of Quito and moved to the city of Guayaquil, after tens of thousands of...
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5 days ago

October 2019 - Ecuador’s government has fled the capital of Quito and moved to the city of Guayaquil, after tens of thousands of...

5 days ago

This is a genuine question that I've been wondering about for a while and thought that maybe you'd have some insight? You seem...

I want to talk more about complex topics sometime soon, because I think there’s value in understanding that some topics can’t be simplified without losing something significant.

Here’s an example of what I mean.

When I talk about nationalism, I’m talking about white nationalism, a part of white supremacy. This is the nationalism that you see exhibited by nazis, fascists, and other far-right authoritarian groups. Their connection to any sort of shared culture is tenuous because these groups are trying to promote an in-group specifically to foster division and create an out-group enemy.

So you get nazis who promote the idea that there’s this culture called ‘being white’ that’s somehow great and grand, even though being white isn’t an ethnic identity and it isn’t a culture, it’s just a skin color. The white nationalism of fascists is a bunch of authoritarian hogwash that’s meant to indoctrinate you. And there are plenty of nationalists that operate like that.

However, I’m wrong to characterize this as the sum total of all nationalism.

There are nationalist movements that aren’t authoritarian and aren’t founded on white supremacy, usually created to win their independence from colonialism or from the totalitarian regimes that can spring up following an independence movement. Such groups represent a form of nationalism that actually does prize ethnic identity.

Some examples of non-authoritarian and socially positive forms of nationalism include:

Black Nationalism

The black nationalism movement of the post-civil war US, which inspired the Black Panther Party. With black people in the US being forced into a culture that equated skin color with ethnicity, they eventually formed a wider black culture and a nationalist movement.

This is also the only political ideology I’m aware of that uses race in a functional, meaningful, and non-toxic way. Race maybe a social construct, but the way that black people in the US have had race inflicted on them means that they’ve had to integrate that into black ethnic identity in the US.

Cherokee Nationalism

By the end of the 1700s the Cherokee peoples in the US formed a nationalist movement to protect themselves from British imperialism. They created a national council to address their collective issues and eventually wrote a constitution to establish a sovereign Cherokee nation.

It’s worth noting that this was the direct result of an entire people who were under attack by imperialism and colonialism, as Britain and later the US both undertook frighteningly destructive and barbaric campaigns of conquest to drive Native Americans to extinction. And such actions had been going on all the way back to the arrival of the first Europeans and the genocide and slavery established by Columbus.

Cuban Nationalism

The Cuban nationalist movement that brought Fidel Castro to power was the result of decades of work to overthrow authoritarian dictatorship of Cuba. At the time of the success of the Cuban revolution, that authoritarian power was the Batista regime, which had become known for maintaining an iron grip on state power, with torture and murder being staples of their government.

Whether or not the Communist government that arose following the Cuban revolution could be seen as a good thing, the revolution itself was rooted in the idea of reclaiming Cuba for the Cuban people, taking it away from the wealthy authoritarians that controlled the government.

Conclusion

While I usually talk about white nationalism when I’m talking about nationalism, because white supremacy really is that big of a problem, it’s important to remember that there are a lot of irreducible complexities in the world.

And just so as you’re clear on what I’m saying, I am telling you, explicitly, that my failure to explain the complexity of this topic so I could continue to represent nationalism as being wholly irredeemable really is a failure on my part.

Just as it doesn’t do us any good to ignore nationalism when talking about fascists, it doesn’t do us any good to ignore the times when nationalist movements have formed for not just ethical ends, but also fundamentally anti-authoritarian ones.

And as one last point about fascists:

Nazis and fascists use nationalism to try to present themselves as a brave and victimized minority that are fighting a corrupt and violent power. People coming together, as a people, to protect themselves against authoritarianism is a good thing, but that’s not what fascists are doing. They’re just trying to sell you on the idea that they’re good guys so you don’t look at how evil they are.

5 days ago

On Complexity

i’d be really curious to know what percent of queerbaiting is 

a) an intentional marketing scheme to stir interest in the project and attract certain fanbases (lgbtq people and young women) vs. 

b) members of the creative team genuinely wanting to write queer characters but the corporate side of things force them to tone it down but they still leave little hints vs. 

c) they legitimately did not know how gay something would come across

The answer:A is 100%. Because B and C are not queerbaiting. The literal meaning and definition of it is A.

#a) queerbaiting #b) queer coding #c) subtext

Please tumblr learn the difference and stop shitting on good shows

Anyone who’s still not clear:

Teen Wolf show-makers asking fans what they wanted, getting the answer ‘canon-queer relationships’ and then just hinting at Stiles being bi and having the characters people ship hang out platonically is queer-baiting

Gravity Falls having the two male police officers hold hands and show genuine affection to one another, but not being allowed to confirm they were married because the studio wanted to sell the show to Russia and China is queer-coding

Arthur Conan Doyle genuinely not understanding why some people would think two men living together, declaring their undying affection for one another, and constantly referring to Holmes as a ‘confirmed bachelor’ was a bit gay is queer-subtext

Clear now?

6 days ago

i’d be really curious to know what percent of queerbaiting is  a) an intentional marketing scheme to stir interest in the...

Y'all do realize the more you call trans kids “transtrenders” and that they’re “faking it” the more parents aren’t gonna support even Actually Real Dysphoric Trans People, right?

i actually experienced this last summer.

my mom is friends with this trans woman, who was really sweet and she was super cool, but then i tried to come out after my mom expressed how much she liked her trans friend and how amazing she is. i told my mom about my crippling chest dysphoria and how much i’d love to be called by he/him pronouns and my preferred name. i told her about how i’ve always felt this way and i’ve known since eighth grade.

well the thing is, her friend is a transmed.

my mom is an uninformed person on trans issues, because she didn’t really care about them until recently. she took resources from her transmed friend and it ruined my life. she went off about how i’m not really trans because i didn’t come out sooner, i have piercings, my hair is always a crazy color, i still like girly things, and my glasses are weird. she kept yelling about how i didn’t have dysphoria before, so i obviously have the wrong definition. she told me if i was trans it would’ve been diagnosed by my therapist already, and it was just a cult bandwagon phase. i was locked away from the outside world for a month.

when my next year of high school rolled around, i was out as trans. my partner provided me with a binder and all was well. i came out to all my peers at the beginning and about halfway through the school year to my teachers. it was quiet, under the table. i told them my mom didn’t know and under our school guidelines, they were not allowed to tell my mom that sort of thing. well, one of my teachers ended up being lgbtphobic and i didn’t know, and announced to the class that she didn’t “agree with the lifestyle” and that “gay marriage isn’t what god wanted.” my mom got an email that day about me being out as trans at school. i wonder who could’ve sent it?

my mom blew up. she was sending me treat after threat because i was a trender, all i did was lie for attention, that i chose to be trans because it was trendy and that real trans people wouldn’t flaunt their transness. of course, she got these resources from her transmed friend. she pulled me out of public school and cut my contact with the outside world for three whole months. i didn’t get back into school until february.

DO NOT TELL ME THAT PEOPLE WITH DIFFERING OPINIONS ISNT TRANSPHOBIC AND HARMFUL BECAUSE EVEN AS A DYSPHORIC TRANS PERSON, TRANSMEDICALISM HAS RUINED MY HOME, MY FAMILY, AND MY LIFE. I WILL NOT STAND FOR TRANSMEDS OR PEOPLE WHO ALLOW THEIR INTERACTION. THEY ARE EXTREMELY HARMFUL AND NEED TO BE STOPPED BEFORE MORE LIVES ARE RUINED.

I mean: we did this with bi kids and particularly bi girls, right. With people my age.

We got super gatekeepy and “you must be THIS GAY to ride this identity” and we complained at length about it being “trendy” and how girls only did it to be “cool” and to get attention.

And so among other things I know one person I love is, for example, only JUST getting to have her FIRST relationship ever with a woman at slightly older than me because this shit got into her head and she didn’t think she was “allowed”.

So watching people turn the same bullshit on even more vulnerable kids?

This is a problem. This is lateral violence. And it needs to fucking stop.

Let me be clear, even if Transtrending was a thing (I do not think that it is), I would still much rather hear a 15 year old tell me that they thought they were trans and then realized they weren’t after a few months of playing with the idea, than hear about a 30 year old who finally transitioned after having a mental breakdown because they spent their life thinking they weren’t trans enough and therefore weren’t allowed to transition.

Fighting the Transtrender Boogeyman isn’t protecting the integrity of trans rights, it just makes the struggle of atypical trans people harder.

^

THIS SHIT NEEDS TO STOP

Can cis people reblog?

Seriously.

A longtime friend of mine posted, for National Coming Out Day, about being an ally and wanting to make the world safe for all of us.

Somewhere in there, there was some stuff about never really having identified as a woman, and never having really identified with any gender, but being okay with people making that assumption because she wasn’t going to do anything about it…

And another friend of hers jumped in to be like, “same! It literally has nothing to do with who I am, being an engineer has way more to do with who I am than this gender thing…..”

I don’t know the friend, but I know (thank goodness) that MY friend is aware of being autistic.

So I jumped in to be like, “hey. Not having a gender is a thing. Not having a gender is a super common thing, when you’re autistic, because gender is all about socialization and presentation and all that other stuff we don’t really process or do unless we have to. Some people call that autigender. Not having a gender is just as nonbinary as anything else out there. Take it from me, a very autistic, very trans person with no particular gender.” (Thank goodness for @candidlyautistic ’s post explaining it.)

And my friend messaged me today. To tell me, “It kind of blows my mind that nonbinary could be accepted as a way of being trans. I am definitely nonbinary, but always figured it would be ‘appropriating’ for me to cast that as a trans experience in my case.”

She’s like… I don’t know exactly how old, but around 40.

I’m pissed off. I’m pissed off at every fucking demon who has kept people from being able to explore who they are. Because somehow, what they are isn’t good enough to explore, and they’re somehow a bad person for exploring it from a different starting point than the demon did.

Every type of exclusionist out there is a fucking horrible demon, who does more direct damage, to more people, than any individual cis person could.

6 days ago

Y'all do realize the more you call trans kids "transtrenders" and that they're "faking it" the more parents aren't gonna support...

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Happy indigenous peoples day!

6 days ago

Happy indigenous peoples day!

“anti anti” culture is just about protecting your love of incest, pedophilia, abuse, child grooming, etc and not about bullying, harassment, etc. And that’s just facts

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Was gonna ignore this shite but nah. The “anti anti” thing is not about protecting MAPs and shit like that, it’s about not harassing people on anon and telling them to go kill themselves just because they ship a villain with a protag. Every single mentally sound person here knows that paedophilia/rape/incest/etc is wrong so that’s not what it’s about because that shit goes without saying. What it’s about is antis being vile, nasty little cretins to people because you think you have to the right to be. You guys are absolutely batshit most of the time and think that the internet belongs to you and thus you should have control over it and everyone who uses it. It doesn’t and you shouldn’t. Grow up. People don’t owe you proof of them being a good person. People don’t have to abide by rules that you think you’re in a position to put in place. Go away and stop ruining fandom for everyone by bullying everyone who ships pairings that you don’t like jfc

Friendly reminder that antis have threatened to kill real people the point that con organizers had to majorly ramp up security because death/shooting threats were getting so persistent. And it had zero to do with “pedophilia, incest, and abuse”. 

Another friendly reminder that a community that engages in abuse and harassment as a regular tactic, as antis do, is a community that is inherently toxic and abusive.

7 days ago

"anti anti" culture is just about protecting your love of incest, pedophilia, abuse, child grooming, etc and not about bullying,...

I’m here, I’m queer, and I refuse to let people erase the fact that our elders shed blood in the name of reclamation so I’m proud of my identity as a queer person in their honor.

7 days ago

I’m here, I’m queer, and I refuse to let people erase the fact that our elders shed blood in the name of reclamation so I’m...

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Florida Judge Sentences 21-Year-Old to 10 Days in Jail for Oversleeping and  Missing Jury Duty  Talk about getting an “n-word...

7 days ago

Florida Judge Sentences 21-Year-Old to 10 Days in Jail for Oversleeping and  Missing Jury Duty Talk about getting an “n-word...

being anti doesn’t mean being against incest/abuse/pedophilia. it means being against fictional depictions of said content. it means being against fictional depictions of age gaps, problematic content, ageing up characters - anything that’s not a 100% on the Pure and Wholesome side

meanwhile, being anti-anti doesn’t mean pro incest/abuse/pedophilia. it means being pro fictional depictions of them, as in it’s okay to depict those kind of relationships, no matter how they’re portrayed, as long as you tag them properly and is aware that, yes, they’re problematic in real life and not something to support

basically, if you claim you’re an anti, you’re basically saying fiction should be gate-keeped and moderated extensively, and everything even bordering on problematic should not just be thrown away, but shamed and torn apart, and anyone who dares do something as banal as exploring a taboo subject in the safe environment of fiction should die

^ a lot of antis try to manipulate people by using language like “we’re just against pedophilia and abuse, it’s common sense” as if they’re just normal people and we are over here advocating for irl child exploitation (they also do this by falsely calling things CP or pedophilia) when in actuality they aren’t normal at all, they’re a loud minority of people who have created an entire community around extremist and unscientific opinions on fiction, bullying, and censorship.

7 days ago

being anti doesn't mean being against incest/abuse/pedophilia. it means being against fictional depictions of said content. it...

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A punk stops during a gay pride parade to allow a mesmerized child to touch his jacket spikes.

7 days ago

A punk stops during a gay pride parade to allow a mesmerized child to touch his jacket spikes.