she’s tired ok

5 days ago

bbzzzzt bzzzt. bbbeeeeeeeep. sssshhlp shhhhzlop. bzzzzt. bzzzzt. bbbeeeeeeeep

mmmm silk soymilk

11 days ago

the stuff I learned today about my brain and addiction was really interesting

if you were to scan an addict and a nonaddict’s brains, they would be lit up differently. the frontal cortex of our brain controls who we are, our morals, our decision making and reasoning skills, etc.

our mid brain handles life or death survival processing. there is no consciousness at this level. it’s only ability is to try to avoid death and keep us alive

in an addict, the drug of choice triggers the mid brain while damaging/shutting down the frontal cortex. it feels like we have no control over it because in a way we really don’t; the part of our brain that makes logical choices isn’t functioning. our mid brain that thinks we’re dying is functioning, and it sees that drug as the only means to survive

i also learned that we each have a certain dopamine (the chemical that makes you happy) threshold. we have a “bar” that must be reached chemically to make us able to experience joy and pleasure. if you’re over the bar, you’re happy. under it, you’re sad

addicts have set the bar so high that it frequently is the case that nothing can make them happy unless they are high first and foremost. they need a much, much larger amount of dopamine to feel joy because so many dopamine receptors have been damaged and shut down

you know what other group of people have extremely high dopamine thresholds? children in abusive or otherwise high stress environments

addicts and abused children both require much higher amounts of dopamine to feel happy compared to “normal” people. this is a huge contributing factor as to why a lot of these kids turn to drugs: for the first time in our lives we have the amount of dopamine we need to feel genuinely happy, and we never want to go back to being sad

yes! the longer you go without using your drug of choice, the lower your dopamine threshold becomes until finally it is once again at normal levels. the broken dopamine receptors will heal themselves, and with therapy and medication the frontal cortex will gradually strengthen so the survival-focused midbrain has less control and actual decisions can once again be made

yes, please do. please help spread awareness about the disease of addiction and end the stigma against it

11 days ago

things my friends and i have done in tech theatre class:

- hijack lights, sound system, and entire black box to do an impromptu star trek episode parody

- disney karaoke

- fake telenovela

- play baseball with a broom and my shoe

- sword fight

- act out titanic (i was the guy in the lifeboat, rowing myself across the stage in a rolly chair using a broom as a paddle)

- scream

things my friends and i have not done in tech theatre class:

- tech theatre

13 days ago

oh you’re watchin the star treks? seeing the spocks?

13 days ago

Lazy...

im sobbing. this is real art

14 days ago

me platonically: baby!! babes!! lovely!! cuteness!! love!! boo!! my soulmate!! honey!! beautiful!!

me romantically: my dear acquaintance

15 days ago

17 days ago

bones, doing a crossword: 5 down, shortened vulcan term of endearment. spock?

spock: k'diwa.

jim from the other side of the room: yes?

bones:

spock:

bones: I swear to god

17 days ago

the reason why we need wlw actresses to play wlw characters isnt because of ‘representation’ or ‘equal employment for lgbt people’ or any other shit like that its because if i have to watch one more fucking scene in which two straight women ‘kiss’ each other with their lips pursed tightly shut to keep the cooties out i will have no choice but to cut out my brain and throw it off a cliff

17 days ago

17 days ago

17 days ago

quantum mechanics is so fucking absurd

electrons be like “i am going to disobey all laws of probability and classical mechanics, unless you attempt to perceive me in which case i will behave exactly in the ways you just disproved”

disgusting. please act like a person

17 days ago

just got typecasted, legitimate highlight of my week

17 days ago

sapphic rose and rose gold moodboard!

17 days ago

morninge beauté routine

18 days ago

someone: lol why are u wearing 5 layers inside, we have the heat on??

me:

19 days ago

I Have Spent Five (5) Hours Studying Calculus BC And I Understand It Even Less

It Is 3:01 AM And I Have Made 3 Seperate Cups Of Tea To Stay Awake

maybe u should try making 3 separate cups of coffee and study some proper english grammar instead :)

maybe u should uhhhh,

square up binch

anyways i definitely failed my calculus test

LIES! F A LSE H O ODS!!!calculus has failed YOU and does not deserve u

19 days ago

new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want

19 days ago

I Have Spent Five (5) Hours Studying Calculus BC And I Understand It Even Less

It Is 3:01 AM And I Have Made 3 Seperate Cups Of Tea To Stay Awake

maybe u should try making 3 separate cups of coffee and study some proper english grammar instead :)

19 days ago

20 days ago

heres a TOTALLY BLANK image!! there is DEFINITELY NO REASON for u to click it!!!!!!!!! NOT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

22 days ago

22 days ago

22 days ago

its nnt a satr

wwwwwwwwild man

23 days ago

23 days ago

~~~~~~ i am not sure why i put this on the internet ~~~~

23 days ago

~~~~~~ i am not sure why i put this on the internet ~~~~

23 days ago

23 days ago

something: is pink

me: i’m fucking sold

23 days ago

23 days ago

honestly some of y’all want a significant other so badly and can’t understand why you can’t find one, but have no sense of boundaries or healthy expectations of what a relationship is like. in a committed long-term partnership you get left on read, you wait for texts back, and you can forget about each other when you’re busy. sometimes you fall asleep without saying goodnight and sometimes you’re too caught up to text each other before 6pm. that’s how it is. thinking that you can’t be deeply, beautifully in love and still wait more than “1.75 hours” for a text back is such an unhealthy and unreasonable expectation of what love is, and you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you can’t allow the other person to exist on their own apart from you. if you’re projecting your anxieties and insecurities onto a partner who doesn’t even exist yet, then you aren’t ready for one.

23 days ago